Irish Prime Minister Calls To Congratulate “Michael O’Breckenridge” For Crushing Victory In Lamont Mayoral ‘Slug-Fest’!

The lowly and largely misunderstood Town of Lamont was dragged (kicking and screaming!) onto the international stage once again after the embattled Irish Prime Minister, you know, that guy over there in Ireland or whatever, called to congratulate one of Ireland’s most successful sons as he assumed the mantle of power in what all pretty much agree is a “Third World Country’ among American municipalities. The Honorable Mr. Cowen, aside from having to eat all that boring and bland Irish food, seems to be embroiled in some sort of ‘mini-scandal’, at least by Irish standards, after vicious rumors were spread that he went on the radio in a state that some might call ‘just a wee bit shy of sobriety’! (Oh, like who among us hasn’t done that? Let ye who is without sin in that regard cast the first Blarney Stone or whatever! Oh, those Europeans are so picky!) Anyway, Michael O’Breckenridge took the call at his home while lamenting on the dim chances of actually pulling the 2nd smallest town in the State out of the quite horrendous mess that the previous Mayor left it in – but managed to buck up and appear chipper and perky as he tried to understand a man from a country that actually butchers the English language even more than the doggone British do! Although details of their high level talks are to remain secret, there are some rumors that Lamont might be receiving 'International Aid' from Ireland, but knowing our luck it will come in the form of stupid potatoes or whatever!! Just as long as they don’t send over those Irish dancers or some such nonsense!! They are so annoying it would almost be like an act of war!!! But who among us doesn't like to kick a little European tush from time to time? I mean, come on!

(Note to self: You are not the mayor anymore, O’Breckenridge is – so you just cannot go running around declaring war on people who annoy you – even though Idaho sure enough needs the ‘what for’ in that regard!!! Dang it all – and O’Breckenridge is such a peace loving man, too! Where is the fun in that?? What is the good of being a mayor who is not willing to declare war on those who vex you? For some reason Idaho pops into mind there! Public service has to have some perks, for crying out loud!)