Sep 8, 2011

Century West Engineering Remains Strong, Resolute, Vibrant In Spite Of Long-Term Relationship With Lamont

Century West Engineering, a rock of stability for good in a world gone totally mad, has somehow managed to survive and even flourish in spite of the fact that they have been involved with the 2nd smallest town in the Great State of Washington for well over 6 years. This almost unheard of feat of emotional, organizational, interpersonal and psychological stability goes a long way in explaining why this regional engineering powerhouse has almost single-handedly improved the infrastructure of the entire Pacific Northwest, to say nothing of providing outrageously pure drinking water, paving over half the town, engineering a quite impressive flagpole and facilitating a new library in Lamont; a forlorn, some might say half-baked hamlet nestled up against the forbidding scablands in the otherwise beautiful Palouse region of Eastern Washington.

“Good gravy, man! We have thrown every bit of inane dysfunction we have at them and it didn’t even make a doggone dent!” exclaimed Wilber Festoon, 56, a area farmer/rancher and self-proclaimed 'civic leader'. “I mean, normally when organizations get the “Lamont Treatment” with all that entails, it is only a matter of weeks or months until catastrophic organizational disintegration takes place, the home office gets boarded up and whatever investors there are that have not committed suicide sell everything they own, change their names and move to some unfortunate village in Costa Rica that doesn’t even have running water or electricity. But somehow Century West Engineering (CWE) just seems to get better and better, doggone it, regardless of how much insane tomfoolery, scatological inefficiency, convoluted misdirection and political and social backwardness we throw their way! (like the local firefighters not wanting to use fire hydrants from a new $1.3 million water system!!) That just ain’t right!” bellowed the flummoxed Mr. Festoon, a local firefighter and the President of the brazenly oxymoronic “Greater Lamont Business Development Association” (GLBDA). “It just seems that regardless of what we do they just continue to be happy, focused, professional and eager to get the job done! It’s like they ain’t even human or something!” he concluded with a shudder while grasping his crucifix and spitting three times to ward off the evil eye!

(Editorial Note: When Century West Engineering first became involved with Lamont, Lamont’s water system was on the verge of being condemned, but CWE acquired a water planning grant and then planned and of course implemented one of the most awesome water systems in all 50 states. (with 82 psi) Then, when the citizens were dropping like flies due to excessive road dust (so, what was the problem there?), Century West came in and thru an outrageously generous grant from the Transportation Improvement Board (TIB) (thank you Greg Partch and company!) managed to pave over half the town. And then, when Lamont needed to add a flagpole to prove once and for all that they did in fact belong to the United States of America (there is still some debate on this point!!), Dennis Fuller and his team of go-getter experts provided the critical calculations (the base for this monster needed to be over 6 feet deep, for Pete’s sake!) and finally, Lamont was the only town in Whitman County without a library or flush toilet (go figure!) and CWE has been instrumental in consulting on the purchasing, planning and implementation of this library project – a project that in other normal towns would have been a seemingly straightforward thing but in Lamont, assuming CWE was not involved, would be more akin to a modern military campaign like D-Day ending in crushing defeat against a smaller, more primitive opponent that doesn’t even know how to use metal and runs around with blue face paint making strange guttural noises like in that 'Lost World' movie or whatever. So yes, CWE is amazing, and their surviving and succeeding, even in the crucible that is Lamont, is a lasting monument to their excellence and astounding human endurance for all future generations to gaze upon with reverent awe and wonder! Thank you, CWE, for setting the example for us all - oh yeah, and for that new library flush toilet thing after over 100 years of being a town!! Oh, and for putting up with us even though we are crazy! And for all those complex water reports you help with that the State makes us do! Oh yeah, and for that nice woman who always answers the phone so sweetly when we call with really stupid questions. And thanks for putting up with us given that we are crazy!) (you said that already, you loon!!)

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