Lamont Experiences Slump In “Verve” After Century West Engineering Wraps Up Road Project

Lamont, a bustling yet misunderstood town on the edge of the Palouse, has been rocked by a drastic decrease in an intangible variable universally recognized as being essential to any community that derives a large portion of its self-identity from working with or around cows and those unfortunate cow by-products. “Well, we never realized it until they showed up and began improving the place, but things can be a little dull and listless around here. Living in Lamont without that refreshing vitality that Century West brings to the table like so many nickels and dimes in a rich man’s trousers is like driving with no radio from here to Florida at 40 miles an hour with your embittered mother-in-law who always wanted her daughter to marry a doctor or a vegetarian or at least someone who doesn't cut their own hair. How much self-analysis and 'naval gazing' can one town do, for Pete’s sake?” pleaded the Mayor. “Needless to say, whenever the president of Century West shows up in our humble burg, it is like beaming the Batman signal on the clouds of our natural lethargy. And when other Century West employees like Bryan or David come visiting, the rejuvenating “spark” transferred to the beleaguered nervous system of Lamont is marginally less intense, although still vital and sustaining. But even the indirect effect of briefly talking on the phone to those smart, savvy, insightful, clever, solution-oriented, iconic, uber-professional phone goddesses like Erika is enough to give us hope and grit to keep slogging on” said the Mayor. “Oh, when will we get another grant so that we can once again bask in the efficiency of Century West as they work to revitalize our long neglected Town infrastructure?” he muttered despairingly while digging his toe in the newly budding and surprisingly healthy hydro-seed recently applied to the roadsides of Lamont by the ever-attentive Century West Engineers.