Oct 18, 2010

Entire Town 'Gob Smacked' Upon Learning That Most Of Whitman County's Elective Management Team Will Likely Be Returning To Office!

As many if not most of you know, Whitman County, WA, a surprisingly large county nestled in the beautiful Palouse (But wedged up against Idaho! Hey, no one is perfect!) is one of the best managed and effective Counties in the entire civilized world. This County, although containing the lowly and largely fumbling Town of Lamont, is staffed with some of the most capable and, lets face it, some of the most downright awesome public servants ever to grace a County Courthouse - and thankfully for the citizenry of the County, it would appear that a vast majority of this so-called "A Team" will be running unopposed in the upcoming election in November!

"Well, I got my mail-in ballot in, of all places, the mailbox - and I have to admit that my hands were shaking a little as I opened up the dern thing!" said an area Mayor who hides a tremendous amount of his own professional (and truly shocking!) incompetence by relying on the excellent human resource pool maintained at the County seat in Colfax. "Anyway, as I scanned over the ballot, I realized that a vast majority of the key players who have helped pry Lamont out of the Dark Ages were, if you can believe it, running unopposed! Oh, I could not believe my eyes! First, Sheriff Myers, possibly the most effective law enforcement officer since Elliot Ness gave the mob a kidney punch before slapping on the cuffs or whatever is running unopposed - which is smart because anyone running against him would likely have been thrown into the electoral 'slammer' by the voters! Then I realized the humble yet amazingly effective County Treasurer, Bob Lothspeich, was unopposed, too! Oh, people don't think of County Treasurers much, but when you are math challenged like Lamont is, a man like that is a Godsend! And that 'can-do' County Prosecuting Attorney, Denis Tracy, you know, that awesome individual who helped Lamont with their code enforcement, is unopposed, too! And then I scanned down the ballot and realized that we would be retaining the energetic Michael Largent, the amazing Shirley Bafus, the awesome and versatile Joe Reynolds - and, although we have thankfully not had to call on his services lately, even the quite excellent County Coroner, Pete Martin, is unopposed! Whoa, talk about a dream team! Talk about excellence incarnate brought back to office to help the 2nd smallest town in the State (and smallest in the County!) somehow machete its way out of decades of backwardness and lethargy! Oh, who says our representative form of government doesn't work! Oh yeah, and to top it all off - that most special of electoral gifts was thrown in there, too! Yes, the most awesome State Representative of all time, the only woman we know who has the gumption and verve to actually stay in Lamont for hours on end - that universal role model of excellence - yes, Susan Fagan is unopposed too! How does life and government get any sweeter than that? Oh, things are really shaping up in the good old USA, if you ask me!" he gushed!

(Editorial Note: The only real issue that we at the Lamont Blog found with the ballot was the fact that Lamont's County Commissioner, Greg Partch, was not on there. Greg was obviously elected 2 years ago or something (with a 4 year term), but he does such a fine job in shepherding Lamont, like a patient kindergarten teacher with an unusually naughty 5-year-old, that he deserved to be voted for again, but his name was no where to be found! Somehow that just didn't seem right, that's all! Oh yeah, and we would have liked to have been able to vote for Century West Engineering, too! Sure, they are a corporation and all, but talk about being a key component to Lamont's overall success! Maybe during the next election we can somehow work them in there! They get my vote for best engineering outfit, anyway!)

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