Oct 10, 2008

Local Man Learns Important Life Lesson After Inadvertently Petting Neighbor Cat’s Stomach


In a life changing lesson that highlights the importance of paying attention, respecting the boundaries of others and avoiding inter-species miscommunication, a local man was lucky to escape far more serious injury after his hand accidentally veered several times to the belly region of his friend’s cat while relaxing on the couch, late Tuesday. “Well, it was that sudden transition from warm, soft fur to outrageous, searing pain that really caught my attention and made me realize I had crossed some unmarked boundary in man/cat relations” said the dazed and remorseful man. “One moment I was mindlessly petting the little critter and trying to come up with another 6 letter word for “peanut” in the local crossword when all of a sudden it felt like a hammerhead shark was breaking a month-long fast and my arm was the only thing on the menu. It was in that rare moment of clarity that only intense, mind-numbing pain can bring that I realized the answer to the crossword question was “goober” – but I was too busy screaming like a school girl and trying to shake that irate, persistent bundle of fangs and claws from my arm to do more than just scribble the letters “G” and “O” before sprinting to the kitchen for safety. It was all so sudden and confusing” said the chastened yet wiser man. “In the future I need to remember my natural limitations and only focus on one thing at a time. Life is just simpler that way.” he said.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Man/cat relations, huh? He's just lucky he wasn't visited by the Mancat! It's like a werewolf, but it's feline and it lives in the thicket up by the derailed tracks. That's why no one takes walks on the gravel trail they made from it. 'Cept the coyotes. But they're wiley.

Anonymous said...

Good words.

Unknown said...

Watch where you pet the kitty... remember that five of their six ends are pointy..