Sep 13, 2009

Local Dog Becomes Considerably Less Social After Being Given Beef Rib Bone

A local dog, Honey, age 2, underwent a radical personality change late Sunday after being given what experts describe as "a rib bone with one heck of a lot of meat still left on it". The normally sweet and docile dog took less than a second (after formally receiving the unusual treat from the familiar hand of her owner) to lock the former cow part in her jaws (slathering fangs appears to be too strong of a description) and 'run' to the dubious protection/safety provided by the somewhat exposed and vulnerable living room chair. From this battle-tested redoubt that has served her well in the past, the dog, or so it would appear, had every intention of defending her prize against both man and beast (especially those darn, overly-curious housecats!!!). "Well, I can't remember a time when she acted like that - except when she sees that council member that she hates for no particular reason" said Ruth Stimpson (not her real name), a local animal lover. "Right after I gave it to her and she made what was, for her, a 'mad dash' to safety (sadly, this dog is so lazy that its actual speed was clocked at only slightly faster than that of the Great American Tortoise on a casual stroll) - one of my cats came up to see what all the fuss was about and got a quite rude and overly hostile reaction. I can't believe all that noise came out of my little wiener dog! It was all quite unnecessary!"

The dog, now that she was in possession of the ultimate canine windfall, just wanted to be left alone for 3-4 hours, for Pete's sake, and later retreated to the bedroom closet where all approaches could be easily monitored and her low pitched growling had a satisfying and 'force multiplying' echo effect on any potential interlopers. "Well, I don't like her going in my closet because she has what one might call a 'shoe fetish' and seems to be able to pick the nice, expensive shoes from my older ones to chew on" said Stimpson. "But there ain't no way I am going in there to roust her out. NO WAY!! For the next several hours that dog is liable to be a crazed menace!!" she said. "Who would have guessed that a simple beef bone would turn the whole 'dern' household upside down? She is surely not acting like the 'little lady' I raised her to be!!" she said with a decidedly disappointed tone.

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