May 6, 2009

Town of Lamont Officially In Love With Tekoa: Tekoa, Wisely, Is Keeping All Options Open

The Town of Lamont is officially head over heels in love with a neighbor city, Tekoa, after all the wonderful help that city has given the town in dealing with one of the most hideous mosquito problems in the lower 48 states - although Tekoa is not likely to reciprocate, given the obvious social differences between the two incorporated entities. "Well, actually it is quite common for small, struggling towns to get a crush on larger, more organized towns" said Wilber Jenkins III, an area sociologist and city planner. "If you just use the human example of the poor kid on the wrong side of the tracks pining for the beautiful rich girl who lives in the big, fancy house (and whose dad is the banker) and who is loved and adored by all of the people of class and standing, that pretty much paints the proper picture. On some level it is only natural, although it often leads to rejection and heartbreak that can be painful for the smaller, less organized town" said Jenkins III regrettably.

"Well, of course we are flattered and all, who wouldn't be, but I just feel that a long-term union between our two towns is simply out of the question" said an unnamed Tekoa spokesperson. "I mean, aside from the obvious difference in population and the glaring socio-economic disparities, Lamont doesn't even have a Parks and Recreation department and/or a golf course and can't even organize their own garbage pickup, for Pete's sake!. I just don't see how this could ever work - plus we kind of have our eyes on larger, more organized cities like Cheney or maybe even Spokane Valley who (unlike Lamont) have median property values that are above those of a good used car. I just don't see how we could go back to where we were as a town 100 years ago - to say nothing of all those mosquitoes Lamont would bring with them every time they came 'a-callin'" said the remorseful yet firm Tekoa spokesperson. "Lamont would be better to focus their obviously abundant affections on some town that died and is on the verge of being re-incorporated or something. That just makes more sense, really. That would just be the best for everyone" she said gently.

"Well, that really hurts, but we understand, I guess" said the downcast Mayor while adjusting his black armband after lowering the town flag to half mast. We were all so excited by the wonderful help they gave us on the mosquito thing, I guess we just confused inter-town cooperation and good neighborliness with the hope for something more. It just gets so lonely out here on the edge of the scablands" he sniffed. "Although this is embarrassing, rejection never is easy, (thankfully, few towns in North America - let alone the world - are more well-versed and well-seasoned in the entire range of potential forms of worldly rejection - so Lamont is well placed to spring back nicely, all things considered) but I am just thankful that our mosquitoes will be dying by the millions, and I hope our misplaced emotions and outrageous social climbing won't impact our friendship in any way" said the Mayor, putting a brave face on an otherwise humiliating situation.

1 comment:

A Tea Drinker said...

Isn't that a hot beverage?
You know, orange Tekoa and Tekoa?