In a rare moment of startling political candor not seen since Betsy Ross so pointedly referred to Martha Washington as "a silly old crow who can't sew worth a hoot!", an area Mayor lowered the bar of public discretion to a new low while discussing the psychological devastation and feelings of personal futility that come with being the Mayor of the 2nd smallest Town in the State, late Tuesday. "Well, although largely thankless and the social equivalent of having ice water poured down the shorts of one's very soul on almost an hourly basis by an amazing variety of differing and demographically varied individuals - the scope of which stretches across the entire spectrum of the 'body politic' in the Palouse, there are parts of the Mayor's job that are in fact rewarding and where personal initiative and resourcefulness are not met with the mule-like kick of outright rejection - or so I keep telling myself" said the eerily upbeat Mayor while organizing some stuff in the office while no one was around. "I mean, we are blessed with getting to work with those folks down there in Whitman County - like the head librarian Kristie Kirkpatrick and of course that whole County Commissioner's office is certainly first rate (Greg Partch, Lamont's Commissioner, is one impressive, results-oriented individual!) - and, oh yeah, pretty much everyone I have met that is associated with the Sheriff's Department is in the top 2% of the American population - but doggone it, at some point there is work to be done around here and that is when it gets all messy. I have people who do not even live within the Town limits whose sole mission in life is to thwart Lamont's every move and belittle even the most magnanimous of Town decisions. What the heck is up with that? And these busybodies are supposedly 'community leaders'! Why can't they pick another town to browbeat and run into the ground, for Pete's sake?" he whined. "Oh, and then there is that whole contingent of stalwart citizens who get all miffy if the park is not mowed in a counter-clockwise direction - something about unhinging the magnetic axis under Lamont, thus unleashing ill-humors or some such thing! I have no earthly idea what that is even all about!" said the nincompoop who should know about those things without being told, for goodness sake! I mean, come on! "Oh yeah, and we have that segment of our fledgling democracy who refuses to walk on our new sidewalks because they are still mad from when we got over half the Town paved (Courtesy of the TIB and Greg Partch!) because they prefer gravel roads like Opie of Mayberry fame!! (these are the same folks who complained about the summer dust generated by gravel roads - but who needs consistency when one is desperately holding onto the runaway horse of uncontrolled anger and social discord?) I don't know, sometimes it just seems a little bit futile bordering on hopeless" he said with outrageous understatement. "But tomorrow is another day. That has to be better than today, doesn't it?" he said foolishly, once again demonstrating why he was the only guy in Town dumb enough to be the Mayor in the first place.(Editorial Note: Remember folks, this is a parody! This whole area is filled with fine folks - so before anyone runs off and makes the above jests even more grounded in reality, use your head, switch to decaf and stop taking life so seriously. Just the fact that this disclaimer was necessary says more than it ought to, however! Yes, and you know who you are! Ahhhh... Having a blog is sweet!)
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