Beautiful Rockford, WA Stuns Lamont By Holding Rival 'Social Event' In Same Calendar Year

The charming, strategically located and annoyingly well-managed Town of Rockford stunned the lowly, shockingly self-absorbed yet sweetly humble Town of Lamont, the 2nd smallest Town in the State, by announcing that they, too, would be putting on an exciting event in this calendar year - on May 1st, 2010 - in spite of the fact that Lamont thought that they had 'dibs' on the year 2010 and thus could expect no competition to their 100 year festival from anywhere in the State. (What collective self-delusion!) "Well, I guess times are changing around here!" said the huffy Mayor who tends to crumble when faced with competition of any kind. "So when I got wind of that surprisingly clever Sadie Hawkins/May Day dance on May 1st - held in Rockford's own fairgrounds (What show-offs! We don't even have a public bathroom and they have an entire fairgrounds? Oh yeah, life is fair!) - of course I was consumed with envy and angst" said the brooding public servant. "Sure, we naturally look up to towns like Rockford with all of their fancy trees and stores and restaurants and all of that - but a dadburn dance? The only way that the citizenry of Lamont could ever work up the courage to dance in public would somehow involve a jug of moonshine and the woeful siren call of a lone banjo or whatever. But these Rockfordians are organizing a whole event around dancing! What nerve! What bravery! What unbelievable gumption! And what’s with their smarty-pants Mayor - Micki Harnois? She is obviously a doggone genius! And then there's that amazing over-achiever Clerk/Treasurer they have - that iconic Darlene! Dang! How are we ever supposed to compete against that? But anyway, I still thought we had 'dibs' on 2010! Is nothing sacred anymore? Let me guess, they don't resolve disputes with the time-honored 'Scissors, Rock, Paper" method anymore, either! Oh, I just wish I was the Lamont mayor back in our heyday - the year 1911. Things were just so much simpler! " he sniveled.

The inspired and lovely Town of Rockford (known as the Gateway To The North Palouse!) is located on SR 27 about 15 miles south of Spokane Valley - and will be holding their really cool dance at the Rockford fairgrounds (the money raised will go to support the fairgrounds which is a darn good cause in these budget cutting times! Go help!) on Saturday, May 1st from 6:00-10:00 pm. Lamont, on the other hand, is having their 100 year festival in the town park (that we need to immediately rename 'The Lamont Fairgrounds', for Pete's sake! Why don't we have our own fairgrounds?) on Saturday, June 19th at 11:00 AM. Mark your calendars for both events! The strength and beauty that is America is contained in its small towns - so stop being so busy and come savor the vibrant beauty we all once took for granted. You can ease into the richness that is Americana by going to the Rockford event first then plunge yourself back 100+ years by attending the Lamont festival on June 19th. (Going straight from the modern world into the parallel universe that is Lamont might be too shocking for all but the most robust nervous systems - so it is better to ease into it via Rockford first! Better safe than sorry, as we always say!)

Besides stores, restaurants and businesses of any kind, some other cool things that Rockford has and Lamont does not includes: Little League baseball, a really smart, socially robust Mayor (who is on the AWC Board of Directors, too, for crying out loud!), an annual Frog Race, basketball, horsemanship, summer movies in the park, a Saturday Farmer's & Flea Market and teen organized dances (there is that dancing AGAIN!). And the summer culminates (that means finishes up or something) with the Southeast Spokane County Fair where three lovely young ladies are crowned Queen and princesses. This amazingly complicated organizational effort (by Lamont standards) also includes exhibits, entertainment, concessions, rides, vendors, and booths manned by civic groups serving wholesome (what?) homemade foods in the fairgrounds and Town Park. (They have a park too? Isn't the fairgrounds enough? Dang!) Oh yeah, and they have a fully-functioning traffic light, too! (Darn their eyes! Now that is just piling on, for Pete's sake!)