In a rare moment of unity and integrated decision-making not seen since they were just a gleam in the State Legislature's eye, the struggling yet decidedly scrappy Town of Lamont unanimously agreed on the most effective advertising format for their upcoming '100 Year Festival' being held on June 19th. This communication mechanism integrates several resources that the Town has in some abundance - the common chicken (known locally as a 'yard bird'!) and that decidedly modern and new-fangled invention - the Post-It-Note. "Well, although there were, as usual, any number of lame-brained communication ideas and outrageous boondoggles that just seem to spring up from this Town like mushrooms in an over-grazed cattle pasture after an unusually heavy spring rain, yet the entire Town seemed to genuinely (pronounced 'Gen-U-wine-ly') rally around the only sane and workable advertising proposal that makes the most sense in the 2nd smallest Town in the State - given who we are and all. Attaching those ultra-modern 'Post-It Notes' to the Town's chickens just seems to make good sense given our desired festival attendance demographic and when factoring in the overall town context and all, I guess" said the largely incoherent and potentially intoxicated Elmer Festoon, age 56, an area farmer/rancher. "I mean, mankind spends so much of its time trying to control every dern thing - making sure there is all that 'return-on-investment' nonsense and all of that. Come on, what a waste! Whatever happened to enjoying the very randomness of life, anyway? And if you think about it, do we really want anyone at our doggone festival who won't take the time to read a dadburn note of importance off the back of a fast moving, frantically scurrying, loudly squawking, decidedly panicked chicken? We have to have some standards around here, don't we?" he said with that classic Lamont bravado and panache that all of northwest Whitman County has so grown to love. Let all them 'big city' people come up with their 'big city' methodologies of communicating (pronounced 'comm-UU-nicat'n), but just know that in Lamont we enjoy the old ways - the ways that made this country great!" (and that don't require that much work!) he rambled with more than a glint of madness in his wildly furtive eyes."Well, I was sick that day so I didn't get to put in my two cents, but after it was explained to me and all I have to admit that I can see the wisdom of the whole concept, especially if we have several really windy days between now and the festival which can increase chicken dispersion by almost 50%" said the previously skeptical Mayor with the unwavering fanaticism of a recent convert. "Sure, there is a certain segment of the American population that is too high and mighty to communicate via chickens - the ones who much prefer Blackberries and cell phones and all of those other unrepentant tools of the devil, but before Lamont was finally forced by the doggone 'Big Brother' State of Washington to accept that doggone fancy-pants telephone system in 1976, (they had an actual 'party line' until well into the 1990's!) we communicated just fine via those largely under appreciated yet hard working chickens. They have many advantages over that overly hyped and thus largely suspect 'carrier pigeon' craze that was so popular for a while. I mean, have you ever tried to serve the preacher 'fried pigeon' on Sunday afternoon after church? It just ain't done! Why have anything around that you can't eat in a pinch, I say!" he stammered indignantly. "And if a person views themselves as being above chasing down a terrified member of the poultry family in order to keep abreast of the 'goings on' in the Town, then maybe they ain't worth talking to in the first place. Did you ever think of that?" he asked indignantly, assuming that now all too familiar look of madness that seems to be more the norm rather than the exception in Lamont these days.
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