Entire Town Humiliated Upon Learning That 'Honey Bucket' Delivery Woman Never Heard Of Town Before (Sadly, this is indeed a true story!)

In what could be the final straw in a long series of snubs, insults, dispersions, backhanded slaps and generally dismissive comments (usually followed by giggles!) that are a constant reminder of the town of Lamont's status within the great State of Washington, the entire town was reduced to stunned self-loathing when word leaked out that the woman who delivered the "Porta-Potties" for the 100 Year Festival had not only never heard of Lamont before - but she could not even find it on the map that her company provides her when she makes deliveries all across this vast region. This individual, a surprisingly attractive and good-natured woman for such an 'unusual' profession (Editorial Note: The Lamont Blog abhors stereotyping of any kind and this comes close to crossing that line, for Pete's sake!! What in tarnation is she supposed to look like? Wait, don't answer that! Whoa!! Let's move on!) was genuinely pleasant and light-hearted when she dropped this latest unwelcome bombshell on the unsuspecting town as she casually offloaded the surprisingly light yet durable devices over by the Dale Windsor Fire Station. "Well, I saw some strange truck with some big, ominous-looking tank thing on it and several coffin looking things hanging off of the back - so of course I had to go investigate, for crying out loud" said the nosy mayor whose job description contains a secret clause that covers all things 'Porta-Potty' - although this was unknown to him when he got roped into taking the dern job in the first place! "Anyway, as I quite shrewdly ascertained her function and purpose during a brief but highly efficient reconnoiter, I immediately transitioned to my same old canned, lame, stale, shop-worn spiel on how we were having a festival and if she actually came and brought a few people we would slip her a few bucks under the table or whatever when out of the blue she told me that our humble metropolis is not only completely unknown in the portable waste disposal industry at large, but that her entire cadre of associates had never even heard of the town we know and love so much! Now, being the mayor and all, I would naturally assume that that industry above all others would not only know about our town, but would hold us up on some sort of doggone pedestal or something! You know, like we were informal kindred spirits or whatever - so when she told me we were basically unknown to her entire social set, I realized how far our town has fallen in the eyes of what should be, by all rights, a key demographic and psychographic support segment for our town, doggone it!" he rambled with rare and energetic passion tinged with bitter disappointment and underlying feelings of betrayal!