Feb 3, 2009

Local Agricultural Chemical Salesman Secretly Hopes For Massive Parasite Infestation This Spring

Festus Martin, the local chemical rep for a well-known chemical company specializing in servicing the livestock industry, is secretly hoping for unusual sun spot activity, planetary alignment, a long dormant Indian curse or whatever it is that makes some years considerably more miserable for cattle and sheep in regard to overwhelming numbers of blood sucking parasites. "Well, although on the surface the casual observer might attribute my blatant desire for a biblical plague-like disaster to beset my customers on account of my new boat payment, but in reality I just have an over developed need for acceptance and know that if nature would just throw me a bone here I would be one of the most popular people in the Palouse - maybe even Eastern Washington - at least until October or November" he said. "Sure, it can get a little discouraging to have these farmers and ranchers audibly groan when I saunter up to their table at the coffee shop or act like they are changing the CD in the CD player when I sidle up to their car as they wait for their wife outside Kathy's grocery store. Is asking for a little respect and acceptance every now and then too much to expect? Opportunistic salesmen need love too, don't they? It is not like I am the darn parasite, after all."

1 comment:

Planetary Front-End Alignment said...

The planetary alignment known as a syzygy is exactly what Festus is looking for. Or more specifically, Syzygy Wines from Walla Walla. Besides, it's a good excuse to go visit family members in the Big House. Do you have any idea how many points "syzygy" will get you in a game of Scrabble if the final "y" is over a triple square? Oh, and here's a hint for you Highway 23 travelers - "syzygy" has something to do with the noise behind the secret door at the monastery. I'll leave you to ponder the meaning. (See the Nov. 26, 2008 blog entry to understand the reference.) I could just tell you, but you're not a monk.