Feb 4, 2009

Local Man Can't Believe Area Rancher Can't Smell That

In a rare atmosphere of compromise and reconciliation, two (2) area men finally agreed to disagree over whether the air quality at an area ranch was reminiscent of the nightmarish stench of the very pits of hell itself or was a good bit better after that last rain that came thru. "Oh, for the love of every thing good! It was horrible. Oh, the humanity!" said the man who spends little time on an actual working ranch. "The last time my senses were so viciously assaulted like that was when the wife asked me to grab the keys out of her purse and I accidentally hit the button on her pepper spray and had to take almost the whole week off from work" said the man. "When I got to the ranch and stepped out of my car to walk up to the door, I received the full sensory assault and was momentarily immobilized. It was all so sudden and confusing" he said earnestly. "So, when my eyes cleared and I was able to tamp down my natural desire to flee the scene on foot in a blind panic, I half expected to see the ground littered with the unfortunate bodies of dead birds that, thru no fault of their own, happened to stray into the airspace of what is obviously a very inhospitable place for any living thing besides a cow" he whined. (no birds were harmed in the making of this blog) "Oh, the wife has been nagging me to adopt a more vegetarian approach to my diet which I have resisted just on principle alone, but after this I am not sure what I will have to do" he said. "If I give in on something like this, the next thing you know she will be picking out my clothes and dragging me to the opera or something" he said sagely. When asked for comment, the rancher expressed surprise and befuddlement and his only comment before heading back out to the barn was "What? I don't smell anything". (Thanks for helping to spread the word about Lamont, Karen!)

1 comment:

Vin Biodiesel said...

This is why cars owned by Midwestern ranchers with stinking lots of cattle stomping around in their own plop always look like they're on their way to the body shop. It's not that they've been stripped to the bare metal in preparation for a new color job, it's that the acrid smell has peeled off all the paint!