Feb 6, 2009

Local Man Can't Understand What All The Fuss Is About, For Pete's Sake!!

A local resident reports being amazed, befuddled, perplexed and 'down-right flummoxed' over all the hubbub that seems to be swirling in the town for no apparent reason. "Well, you would think a dadburn fox just took up residence in the chicken coop the way these hens are running around squawking and flapping their wings and carrying on! I ain't never seen anything like it - at least not since last winter!" said the man who prides himself on his internal reserve and keen sense of social perspective. "I mean, I don't know if the long winter has just kept people's natural need for drama all bottled up and with the slightly warmer temperatures they now feel the uncontrollable urge to make up for lost time or what. It seems like every time I venture outside it appears that the whole town is just 'a-twitter' about one thing or another. Its very disconcerting" he said. Although I do not, in fact, have any idea what the whole ruckus is about, it just seems like there are real and more pressing issues in the world and time and energy might be better spent focusing on them" he said. "Can't we all just get along?"

"Well, human beings are really a mess when you get right down to it" said Dr. Mary Fletcher, an area psychoanalyst. "The human experience is a strange blend of self obsession and a herd mentality. When you combine these two volatile and seemingly mutually exclusive components into a small town setting, the result can reach the absurd very quickly" she said. "What I advise my patients to do is to cut down on Oprah and the Jerry Springer Show, get as much exercise as possible and always remember that your rights end where another person's nose begins. Sadly, I lose a lot of patients that way, but I have to be true to myself, doggone it!" Upon further analysis, it appears that no one in the whole town can remember what they were upset about in the first place - but they know that it was important and well worth the investment of time, however, and anyone who disagrees with them is a 'no good so-and-so'."

1 comment:

Formerly Patient, Now Impatient said...

Well I'll be the first to tell ya, that dad-burned Fletcher lady puts the anal in psychoanalyst!