Oct 15, 2009

Feathers Fly At "Parrots For Peace" Headquarters After 'Did Nothing' Obama Shamelessly Wins Nobel Peace Prize

In what future historians will so ominously refer to as the "Caw heard round the world", the local headquarters of the prestigious "Parrots For Peace" activist group erupted into a melee of ear-splitting, tropical-sounding hysteria and a blizzard of shockingly vibrant and amazingly multi-hued feathers when it was announced, in spite of their many highly successful peace initiatives designed to heal the longstanding rifts between ranchers and their largely misunderstood and somewhat meddlesome coyote brothers, that the now discredited and totally bogus (dare one say 'bird-brained' given the topic?) Nobel Prize Committee insanely (and quite stupidly) gave their most coveted award to a new President who has done little for the 'cause of peace' other than disarm America and strive to be the 'National Nanny'.

"Oh, my ears! My ears!!! I'm deaf, I say!! What? I can't hear you! Speak up, you young whippersnapper!!!" said Festus Festoon, 63, a local rancher, who just so happened to be walking past the "Parrots For Peace" international headquarters on his way to borrow some chewing tobacco when the news was announced. "And what in tarnation are all these dadburn feathers doing all over me. I look like I am all set to go waltzing thru one of them 'ungodly' Mardi Gras parades down in New Orleans or something" he stammered, speaking about twice as loud as would normally be necessary. "I never did trust that Obama myself, but just because he got some rigged award that he never deserved in the first place doesn't mean that the whole dern town needs to go getting its feathers all ruffled and our beaks out of joint! he said blaringly. "What? Speak up, doggone it!! What's the matter with you? Cat got your tongue, or something? All I can hear is this loud, drum-like "Cawing" ringing inside my head. Oh mercy! This just ain't right! Them birds need to show a little self-control. Nobody ever said that this world would be the proverbial 'tropical paradise'.. We all need to learn to take the good with the bad - the fair with the unfair. This life just ain't one big feeding dish of sunflower seeds hanging inside a roomy, solid gold cage with plenty of cool parrot toys and parrot-perches strewn all over the place, for Pete's sake!" he concluded with his usual level of profound understatement while shuffling his way to get a pinch of 'Chew", trailing amazingly brilliant feathers in his wake.

When asked for comment, the astoundingly efficient "Erika" of Century West Engineering fame could only shake her head and wander away, ominously mumbling something about "Tomorrow is another day" and "Hell hath no fury like a parrot scorned' or something to that effect.

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