Lamont Mayor Sparks Constitutional Crisis After Appointing New "Mini-Mayor"

In a shocking move that has constitutional scholars in Olympia running to the liquor store to buy huge bottles of cheap whisky and cartons of smokes (although smoking is supposedly not allowed in State buildings!), the lowly Mayor of Lamont turned the legal world on its head by introducing a new 'un-elected officer' within the town governing structure that is at best only vaguely referred to in the RCW's that govern the state - although most scholars agree that the Founders of the State never intended for towns to have genetic clones of their elected officials serving in any capacity whatsoever. "Good heavens, man!!!! Ain't one mayor like him enough?" said Wilber Bodine, a local farmer/rancher. "What sort of sin does this town carry that we should be cursed like this? Oh, this town has some serious repenting to do, that is for sure!! The Day of Judgment is at hand!!! Repent, you sinners... REPENT!!! " he bellowed before hysterically cowering after a brief thunderclap caused by a late fall weather front rumbled thru!

"Well, I just don't see what all the fuss is about" said the contrite yet determined Mayor. "With all those new reports that the Town has to do, it only makes sense to expand the workforce while still limiting the payroll!" said the shamelessly outrageous cheapskate! "Sure, a vast majority of the 'malcontents' and 'scoff-laws' in the Town refer to me as Hitler or Saddam or "Dr. Evil" and all of that, but name calling never helped get the work done, now did it?" he said annoyingly. "Having a genetic duplicate of myself can only help smooth matters over - plus he is smaller so he takes up less space and we can save on heating and cooling costs!" said the Mayor with only a hint of madness in his glazed, slightly out-of-focus eyes!!! "Plus, I can sneak him into the bushes to spy on informal council discussions to gather information vital to the Town!!! Heck, already I have thwarted an attempt that somehow involved State Mental Health professionals and a 'straight-jacket". With success like that, how can having a 'Mini-Mayor' be a bad thing?" he rambled disjointedly. "Plus, with all those grants that Century West Engineering keeps getting for the Town, someone has to oversee and manage the details of those projects, don't they? Why can't anyone besides me see the wisdom of my actions?" he concluded, as if responding to a voice that no one else could hear. When asked for comment, the Association of Washington Cities (AWC) spokesperson was reduced to mumbling something about the unfortunate irony of Lamont being in Washington and not in Oregon or Idaho and talking about bad luck and a "constant stone in their shoe" and how 'every parent has at least one bad child' or something like that - before she resorted to laying her head down on her desk to ward off a crushing migraine that looms right behind her eyes every time she hears the latest 'goings-on' in Lamont, WA - the 2nd smallest and least humble town in the Great State of Washington!!!!