Oct 21, 2009

Local Cat Plans Elaborate, Military-Style Ambush On That New Neighbor Cat

In a bold and provocative stratagem worthy of a West Point professor or experienced battlefield commander, a local cat, Roberta, age 4, placed the finishing touches on a diabolical plan that is almost guaranteed to solidify the neighborhood cat 'pecking order' and will certainly put that new 'upstart' cat in its place once and for all. The new cat, (which has 6 toes - making it more of a local oddity and source of suspicion!), a recent arrival to Lamont after her humans thankfully moved here from the county, is still getting used to the new smells and is learning the 'lay of the land' - so is thus unusually distracted and vulnerable to a surprise attack from an unknown quarter. "Well, I was going to check the mailbox when I saw Roberta pacing back and forth, measuring 'lines of sight' and distances and angles of the sun and that sort of thing" said a local man who asked to remain anonymous for his own personal safety. "At first I just assumed that she was hunting for an overfed, summer-fattened mole or ground squirrel or something, but it was not hard to recognize the systematic nature of her efforts and the almost scientific precision of her movements. I knew right then that the cat was up to no good! I just felt in my bones that there was going to be trouble!" he said wearily while glancing around nervously to make sure no prying ears (particularly pointy ones) were listening. Although no evidence exists that the actual ambush has taken place to date, area neighbors are bracing themselves and waiting pensively for all 'hell to break loose' at any moment and to see what sort of mettle this new cat will demonstrate once a battle-hardened Lamont cat springs out of the bushes to scare the 'living daylights' out of the thing and thus initiate the 'neophyte' to the "winner take all' world of local cat life!

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