Feb 9, 2010

Area Man More Than A Little Miffed After Being Referred To As "Subdued"

In yet another shocking demonstration of the importance of continuing one's education past the 8th grade, an area farmer/rancher, Jethro Festoon, age 54, stormed off in a huff after his cousin, Melba McCoy (yes, she is the one who married into that doggone McCoy rabble or clan or whatever!) noticed that Jethro was quiet and withdrawn and inquired why he was so subdued that day. "Well, I just didn't see no reason for her getting all nasty with me and questioning my manhood - just because I didn't feel like talking to them people just then. I could see her asking me what was wrong or inquiring about how my taxidermy was going or whatever (Jethro, a man at or near the top of his natural abilities, is currently attempting to mount that creepy 2-headed calf born last winter out at the Snope's place. This mount, if successful, could very well end up as the crowning penultimate achievement in an otherwise checkered contribution to humanity after more than half a century of half-hearted effort!), but to come right out and, in front of the whole dern town, call me a 'sub-dude' just struck me as a little hostile and mean spirited, that's all. Since when does mindless chatter define a man, for goodness sake?" he said huffily!

(Editorial Note: Oh, for the love of Pete!! What does one really say to such a clear example of whatever the heck that was? Oftentimes mere silence can be one's most ardent spokesperson, or so they say. That default response certainly seems appropriate here since no other avenues are opening themselves up and the normally expansive Lamont Blog is rendered speechless once again! The Greater Lamont Metropolitan Area - the gift that keeps on giving!)

No comments: