Feb 26, 2010

Local Man Still Not Sure If He Should Be Mad After Being Called A "Ninnyhammer"

A local man, Wilber Bodine, age 56, was thrown into the depths of consternation and confusion after an area truck driver ever so casually referred to him as a 'ninnyhammer' after he, Wilber, failed to grasp the basics of a quite mundane conversation that somehow involved math. "Well, I just didn't see no reason for him to go getting all nasty with me, assuming that is what he done - since I ain't got no idea what a dadburn 'ninnyhammer' is in the first place!" said the potentially huffy Bodine. "I mean, no man likes to be called any name that has the word 'ninny' in it, but being called a name with the word hammer in it ain't all that bad, I guess! Hammers are kind of manly and something you can hit things with, but that 'ninny' part has me more than a little concerned, to say the least" said the amazing dunderpate. "So, was he saying that I would hammer ninnies - and if so, what the heck does that mean? The whole dern thing got all tangled up when he started using a whole bunch of numbers or whatever in a conversation, like that is ever necessary, for crying out loud! What does that have to do with a ninny? That is just confusing!" said the outrageous timbernoggin. "But if I was some kind of hammer, then why wouldn't he just call me a hammer without having to throw that whole 'ninny' business in there? I just can't see how any descriptive term with 'ninny' as a root can be anything but insulting! So maybe I should be mad, after all! I just don't know!" bellowed the confused clodpall. "Anyway, I just wish I had one of them dictionary things or them thesaurus doohickeys (pronounced tera-saurus) or whatever. That would solve this little conundrum once and for all. If I need to get mad I'll get mad, but if a ninnyhammer turns out to be a good thing, then there just ain't no sense in getting all worked up over the dern mess, I don't reckon!" said the notorious nincompoop.

Definition: Ninnyhammer (NIN-ee-ham-uhr)

noun - A foolish person; simpleton; blockhead - oftentimes these individuals become small town mayors.

Etymology - Of uncertain origin. From ninny (perhaps shortening of innocent) + hammer (possibly from hammerheaded).

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