Mar 28, 2010

Local Mayor Laments 'Social Vacuum" Caused By Lamont's Complete And Total Lack Of A Proper Literary And Archetypal "Village Idiot"

In a touching and quite rare gesture of actual emotion and human sentimentality, a local Mayor waxed poetic at his heartfelt longing and desire for a single person who could fit the much-needed small town role of the traditional (yet poorly termed, indeed!) 'village idiot' made so popular for centuries by almost every writer of quaint, rustic fiction - at least European fiction, that is. "Well, being a small town Mayor has its ups and downs, and let me tell you there is a lot of 'learning on the job' - so being able to rely on some tried and true icons from our collective literary past in managing the Town could only help make things run that much more smoothly, I think" he said with a dreamy yet melancholy look in his 'far away' gaze. (the cheapskate is probably skimping on coffee again!) "Anyway! It just doesn't seem fair that, although only having about 100 people at last count (although we have had 12 new, law abiding, really nice people move here in the last month or two that aren't even counted yet! Whoa! I hope we don't become the 3rd smallest Town in the State!), one would think that there would at least be one 'village idiot' in the lot. I mean, we have a village grouch, a gossip, a goodie-two-shoes, an outrageous hypochondriac, a cringing violet, a scrooge, a witch, a scoff-law, a know-it-all, a shrew, a scamp, a sloth, a hermit, a horse's rear-end, a blow-hard, a battle ax, a mooch, a non-stop talker (oh, we have any number of those!) - not to mention a whole herd of snooty, cantankerous, rabble-rousing busy-bodies that seem to thrive around here like mushrooms in a spring cattle pasture. (Okay, these obviously energetic individuals tend to live outside the Town limits for the most part, although that is close enough!) And the rest are just good, strong, salt-of-the-earth type citizens who play by the rules! But doggone it, there is not a single person who fits the bill as the traditional, overly indulged, always pleasantly underfoot, much loved, inappropriately named 'village idiot' that no small town is really ever complete without. It just doesn't seem fair somehow!" he whined at the seeming social injustice of it all. (What, are we too small for that, too?)

"It would sure be nice as we are cleaning up the Town for the exciting 100 year festival on June 19th to look out across the park and see some supposedly unfortunate yet much loved and sheltered individual puttering thru the grass, studying the majestic wonders of the bark of some tree that no one else ever even notices or gently stroking a posse of unlikely and oft-neglected house-cats that follow him everywhere in recognition of his pure and well-intentioned soul. (and the occasional cat treat!) And how are we supposed to be a 'real town' if we do not have some supposedly disadvantaged yet kind-hearted individual traversing the streets at all hours, keeping a protective eye on everything and finding all manner of lost things and miraculously returning them to the doorsteps of their frantic, beyond-hope owners - seeking no overt recognition for himself - but just setting the scales of justice right in some small yet not insignificant way. And who can we count on in a clutch, when all support seems remote and distant, to come barreling out of the bushes to efficiently subdue some vagrant would-be trouble-maker or meddlesome nare-do-well in order to save some innocent child from even modest harm or upset! I just can't help but feel that Lamont is somehow less rich for this want (although that is indeed a blessing in and of itself!) - and this is proof yet again that the Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways that are beyond the understanding of worldly man - as if we didn't know this already!" he said regrettably. "Oh, and if we could just learn to 'judge a tree by its fruit', in spite of and regardless of what man or society or whatever tells us is the ideal for human expectations. Isn't it amazing how the powerful are often humbled by the actions of the so-called meek and lowly, at least in matters of the heart and conscience, anyway!" he mused!

No comments: